New From Blammo!

I'm not overly fond of the word "blog," I confess, so I've decided to refer to mine from hereafter as a blargh. Just so's you know.

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I'm reading David Foster Wallace's essay on political talk radio in the latest Atlantic Monthly, & just reached the point where he explains about identifying an audience by the station commercial spots. During this, I had a sudden epiphany - something suddenly became clear which I had simply never considered before. And that is this: commercials are intended for me. They are a plea for me to buy a business's products. Sound obvious? Well, I've never thought of it like that before. To me, commercials were always "breaks" in the teevee shows I watched as an imp. A short intermission in which to refill soda, piss, play with cat, thwack nearby sibling, annoy parent, etc. It never occurred to me to actually pay any attention to them, absorb what they were saying, to react to them in any way.

Thinking back, there are only a handful of commercials I can actually remember, & even those I can't remember what products they were supposed to be identified with. I remember the "where's the beef?" campaign. I'm guessing that was for Wendys (the Ross Perot of the fast food burger chains). I do vaguely remember the Slinky Song, though I remember The Log Song from Ren & Stimpy much better. I remember those GI Joe "knowing is half the battle" segments, although Inspector Gadget had a similar safety-minded epilogue, I seem to recall. Then there were all those commercials for "feminine freshness" showing a zestfully clean woman in a bathrobe walking along a beach. Those had me baffled for years.

Commercials were like telemarketers. It never occurred to me to actually speak to one. A telemarketer was someone you automatically hung up on without a second thought. Or pretended to stutter for until they got so frustrated they hung up on you. Or someone you asked to sign your "Joey Ramone for President" mailing list. But not someone you dropped what you were doing to devote your attention to. More relevant these days is email spam, which provokes an instant smiting with the delete key. No second thought.

I haven't had television for a decade now, so the subject rarely arises. No telling what the advertisement landscape out there is like these days. But just who are these 1% of the population who do apparently respond to marketing ads, enough to keep it a profitable business? Whoever you are, you're spoiling my view.

"What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs
Rolls over your neighbor's dog?
What's great for a snack and fits on your back?
It's Log, Log, Log!

It's Log, Log, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
It's Log, Log, it's better than bad, it's good!
Everyone wants a log! You're gonna love it, Log!
Come on and get your log! Everyone needs a Log!"