"Someone must have been telling lies about Joseph K..."

Apparently, due to Homeland Security policy, if you lose your wallet containing all your identification in New York & then head over to the DMV for a replacement ID you'll be told they can't help you without a social security card. Meanwhile at the social security office they'll inform you they can't do anything for you unless you have a valid photo ID. Yes, this did happen to an acquaintance of mine, & yes, he is caught in this predicament, & no, the automatons behind the counters at both offices do not seem to recognize the ludicrousness of the situation as they send him back & forth with straight faces.

Ha ha... ha.

On Location

Walking around the Village yesterday evening I ran into a film crew on practically every third block. There were crews assembling equipment on Hudson Street, MacDougal north of Bleecker, in Washington Square Park, & north of Tompkins Square. Whether these were individual film shoots or one big one, I couldn't tell. Maybe there's another Spiderman flick in the works.

Then I stopped in a bar called Hi Fi where a Dukes of Stratosphear album was spinning on the jukebox. When that ended it was replaced by something by Husker Du. The beer was two for the price of one.

A strange thing about New York is you can buy a brand new CD from Circuit City for less than a previously owned version from a used record store. I'm no economics whiz, but it seems like that sort of setup wouldn't last very long.

And finally, this new Firefox spellchecker is kinda nifty.

How to Be a Villain

Evil Laughs, Secret Lairs, Master Plans, and More!!!

Book Description
A delightfully evil gift, How to Be a Villain is a step-by-step guide to joining the forces of darkness. Because, though villains may never win, they sure have more fun, hatching master plans for world domination, smoothing their dastardly tights. Neil Zawacki answers all the most urgent questions: Should I go with a black or red theme? Do I invest in an army of winged monkeys or ninja warriors? And just where will I put the evil hideout? Whether readers choose to pursue a career as a Criminal Mastermind, Mad Scientist, Corporate Bastard, or just a Wanna-be Evil Genius, they are sure to find plenty of tips for jumpstarting any evil enterprise. Cheaper than attending the annual bad guy conference and way more fun than being good, How to Be a Villain is guaranteed to elicit deep-throated evil laughs across the land.

About the Author
Neil Zawacki is a California-based freelance writer who has long been interested in the plight of evil-doers. Generally considered to be quite villainous himself, he enjoys theater, literature, and world domination. James Dignan 's drawings have appeared in the New Yorker, the Wall Street Journal and magazines such as Vogue, Elle, and Marie Claire. He divides his evil-doing time between Australia and Europe.

[From Amazon]

Country, BlueGrass, and Blues (1973-2006)

Patti Smith led the final show at CBGB Sunday night, alongside Lenny Kaye, Flea, and Richard Lloyd. They performed a slew of vintage songs from the club's infamous past by the likes of Television, Blondie, the Dead Boys, the Ramones, & of course Smith herself.

I wasn't there for all of that, but did stop in the day before for one last look before another cultural landmark bit the dust. I don't understand how this sort of thing happens so often. Over rent, of course. It's usually about money. Imagine the rent on the Lincoln Memorial being raised impossibly high, forcing it to be shut down & turned into a Rite-Aid. Evidently no one along the line was willing to cut owner Hilly Kristal a break. He was unsuccessful in getting the club acknowledged as a historical landmark, despite the fact that the streetcorner up the block is celebrated in signage as Joey Ramone Place.

Still, those who refuse to mourn extensively have the right idea. If you cling to physical manifestations instead of the spirit which inhabited them you end up with fundamentalism. So it goes.

Plane Plane Against the Grain

I was sitting beside the open window of my Brooklyn apartment, a book sprawled across my lap, listening to the whistling breeze, the distant tinkle of an ice cream van, mothers picking their kids up from the school on the next block. The phone chirped. It was a friend from Boston asking if I was okay. Of course, why? Because it seems a plane had crashed into a building on the Upper East Side. I went up to the roof to glance Manhattan-wards to see what I could see, but I couldn't even spot the Empire State Building through the rainy haze that was settling over the city. Everything seemed so peaceful that it felt very isolating. For all I knew the entire island of Manhattan could be burning and it would take someone from Boston who had seen it on the news to inform me of it.

A Pigfoot and a Bottle of Beer

Last night The Moonlighters played one of the more intimate venues to see bands in Brooklyn — Barbes in Park Slope. Despite late night subway tomfoolery, I was able to catch the show. The Moonlighters' instrumentation is comprised of ukulele, guitar, slide steel guitar, and upright bass. Notably missing are any sign of drums, a point of which they are proud. Vocals are handled by Bliss Blood and Carla Murray. They specialize in covers of semi-obscure blues/jazz from the twenties and thirties, and originals which could be forgivably mistaken for stemming from that period as well.

They swing, they cook, they jive. Mike Neer is a monster on slide guitar, always melodic while darting in and out of the hectic rhythms. I don't think I heard him flub a single note. Bliss and Carla's voices meld together into a perfect velvety conspiracy. And Carla has great taste in hatwear.

Among their covers were a Bessie Smith tune, the standard "Moanin' Low," a few hobo tunes, and a racy number called "Hold Your Man" from the pre-Hays Code Gable-Harlow flick of the same name. They are able to smirk gently at the more antiquated views contained in some of the material they cover while reveling in its inherent joy. Great band.