Spam-Free Oz

Stand back, I've got some vitriol to spit.

I'd like to take a moment to point out the obvious - that spammers are the most despicable loathsome putrid scatmunchers on the face of the earth, barring only pedophiles & totalitarian dictators. They deserve nothing but immediate banishment to the bog of eternal stench where they shall rot forever in their own fleshy decay. They are mosquitoes with no purpose whatsoever except to annoy. Bandits along the information highway, only the word "bandit" sounds too romantic to use on these gutless wonders. They are selfish ogres, ripping wood from the hull of our ship to sell as spare timber, unconcerned with the consequence of the ship sinking, just so long as they make their paltry bucks. At least revolutionists are opposed in principle to the existence of the ship in the first place. Spammers have no principles.

They must be hunted down & slaughtered, strangled with their own foul intestines. There are so many problems that need repairing on this planet, how dare they poke their greedy snot-encrusted snouts into the works & make things harder than they already are. They deserve to be ripped apart by rabid wolves, an explosive charge jammed up their urethras & detonated, strapped down with Clockwork Orangean brutality & forced to endure endless tape loops of David Hasselhoff songs. I want every single one of them to hurt. Their pain should be legendary.

And what pisses me off the most is that even if we spend five years launching technological warfare against these cretins, designing computers to explode instantly when "send" is pressed on an unwarranted email or whatever - even if we are victorious in battle, we will only have returned to a state in which we should have been all along, were it not for these vomit-engorged Visigoths. What needless agony.

I'm not sure of the figures - is it six million spam messages sent per day? Bogging down the servers & flooding inboxes across the network. What's probably going to happen sooner or later is the formation of an electronic postal system under which each individual email will cost xx cents. This would deter spammers, but would be a hassle for the rest of us as well. So much for the beauty of free electronic mail.

Those fuckers.

And now back to your regularly scheduled white noise.